This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
