Got a toothbrush?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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