Porn is love you can see.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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