Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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