yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
