He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
