I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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