why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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