used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
