This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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