just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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