Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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