on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
