Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
