He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
