I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
