roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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