quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
