dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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