I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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