Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
