dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
