I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize