dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
