I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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