just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
