He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize