Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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