Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
