summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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