so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
