Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
