"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
