Fine. I'll sleep in my office
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
