I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
