I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
