Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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