I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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