Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
