is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
