Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
