dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
