hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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