Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
