My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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