I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize