my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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