I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
