I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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