and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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