you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Boobs are out for the taking
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
