Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There r osticjed everywhere
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
