I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
