are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
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Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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