You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
