Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
