I accidentally had phone sex last night
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ladies don't puke and tell
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The cops high fived after they tackled you
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
