tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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