I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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