the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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