i just made my gag reflex go away.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
