Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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